Inspirational Article

I know it has been a while, but I am back! I wanted to share this beautiful and inspirational

article, Sheryl Paul wrote for all of us in this battle with anxiety. This brought tears to my eyes

and made me feel so damn good.

This struggle with anxiety/obsessive thoughts/OCD/ Depression is definitely an

unforgettable journey. But if you choose to go on this journey, on the path of

love then, fear will soon disappear. You will find yourself FREE. Just remember NOT

to give up and always remember that its worth it. This fight and these “set backs” are worth

it. Because once fear gives up or you no longer choose to be a victim to it, everything

is clear for you, everything is sacred.

Please read the article below its very powerful. I love her message. Don’t give

up. I’m not , so you can’t either.

                                                                                                                                                                                                       http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-paul/relationship-anxiety-fear_b_1135768.html

Aside

Its our parent’s fault

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I don’t believe this is the WHOLE truth! But, theres A LOT of truth involved…

I am NOT saying put the blame on your parents if you have anxiety/OCD/depression, but think about how you were raised and maybe pay attention to some details you might have missed when you were 6. We are born with no judgement of the world around us, no fear, no worry, we just are. The world we grow up in and the views and judgments we soak in from others constantly around us begin to get in our blood and stay.

For example, my childhood. My mother was obsessed with her looks and the thought of men cheating on her. She always thought whoever she was dating at the time was cheating on her or her looks weren’t good enough so he will cheat on her and basically women are fucked when they go into a relationship with a man because with certainty HE WILL ALWAYS CHEAT. She raised me like that. Not like she would constantly preach about it, but she was so dramatic in every relationship its almost like she wanted me and my siblings to hear, like she was on stage. So, with that being said one of my biggest fears in life is to have my love cheat on me or me cheat on him. I am not obsessed with my looks like my mother , however I can be incredibly insecure about my image. I think a lot of women are very insecure for the most part anyway. It was interesting though, because certain things I saw my mom do and say, I caught myself doing and saying. Even though I didn’t fully believe any of the shit my mind was throwing at me, I felt that I was right because thats how I was raised. I am totally wrong and so was my mom. I had to detach myself from the past of my up bringing and in a way start fresh and be my own parent. Although I am an extreme case, my childhood was kind of rough, I think everyone can relate to this.

We should be more aware of ourselves and create our own options to choose from and not take from other peoples teachings that were unhealthy, just because thats what we were told when we were young. Because we were taught something, doesn’t make it right. People get confused, our parents get confused.

So my point is that we create these thinking patterns  these NEGATIVE thinking patterns at a very young age, conscious or unconscious of it. We started it. Whether its a tick we started to calm us down, a thought pattern we go back to even if we hate it, or a insecurtiy pattern we tell ourselves like its the truth. How sad is that? Haha, so sad we do that. That is so exhausting. Sometimes I don’t know why I am so tired and then I think of all the thinking and back and forth talks I do with my self on a bad day and i’m like, “Oh, that’s why I am so freakin tired.” Takes more energy to be negative than it does to be positive. Anyway I posted some words this guy posted, I found it helpful…

http://seeker7.hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Challenge-Negative-Thinking-And-Anxiety

When a negative thought enters your mind carry out this exercise:

  • Block the negative thought immediately by saying firmly – out loud or in your head – one of the following – “stop!”; “No!”; “Leave!”. Or choose a word of your own. Remember, don’t get angry, that’s negative. Remain calm but be firm.
  • You can also block the negative thought by using a symbol instead of a word or you can use both. For example, when I want to block a negative thought I visualise a large, red, ‘X’ sign being stamped on the thought to stop it. I know some people who use symbols such as a door shutting, or pulling a curtain across to block the thoughts. Again, this is personal to you so don’t be afraid to use your own symbol – it may seem a bit silly at first, but if it works, who cares?
  • Be aware of any tension in your body. If you are tense then take a deep breath and relax. Don’t worry if negative thoughts keep coming back, this is normal and getting rid of them takes practice.
  • When you have used your word/symbol then imagine the negative thought slowly diminish in size – you can visualise the thought as a huge black cloud shrinking in size – see the thought continue to diminish until it is a pin prick then it fades to nothing.
  • Whatever the negative thought was, replace it with the positive opposite. For example, if your negative thought was one of failing, then now visualise you winning. Try and put as much energy as you can into the picture, try and feel what the sensation of winning feels like. Hold this for as long as you can.
  • Don’t be concerned if you can only manage this for a brief second or if the picture is not very clear. This will come in time with practice. It doesn’t matter whether you hold the picture for a second or ten you will still be training your mind to change from negative to positive.
  • A method that many people have found useful is the use of a ‘thought diary/journal’. Writing down you negative thoughts brings them into perspective. Putting their positive opposite across from them focuses your mind on what you want to achieve.

Important Point – don’t ever tell yourself off – always talk to yourself in a positive manner whether things have went to plan or not.

A Lesbian killer…

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  I came across this question and found it so interesting that a lot of people including myself struggle with unwanted thoughts. I have had this same feeling but not about killing anyone, but about my relationship failing and being my fault. I wanted to answer this question below…

Resolved Question

Show me another»

Really Bad thoughts, Anxiety OCD?

I have had PTSD, and now Have gone through that. Sadly I have terrible thoughts that Im going to kill someone or terribly my family. I wont even get close to them. I cant open up my knife drawer. I get scared im going to loose control on I am not thinking. I think I am a whole another person. I feel like my anxiety is actually going to make me do something durastic, but the thing is I wont even get close to someone when I have these bad thoughts. I say to myself god If i am going to kill somene just kill me now, because i dont want to hurt anyone. I think of myself wanting to die becuase i dont want to hurt anyone. Seriously everything that I dont want to happpen happens to me! I dont want to be lesbian,, and my anxiety tells me i am. I fear of my family in harm, and I fear i will harm them. i fear i am high and my anxiety tells me im high. Im scared im in a dream or heaven or in some other place and im dreaming this all right now. and I believe it. I feel like i need to go into a mental institute. Please help me I really need help. Any suggestions? any ways I can get rid of my anxiety?
ANSWER:
 Hi Kaelee,
 I first want to start off by saying I have been exactly where you are. It seems like you are in a dream state and you are not yourself and the thoughts you have are not yours. You said you have PTSD? That is something a few therapists a long time ago told me I had. It was “triggered” by an emotion and I have never been the same, I still remember the day I felt the trigger, worst/best day of my life. Typically when someone has PTSD they develop anxiety/OCD to  protect themselves. Giving insurance  that that traumatic experience won’t happen again,hoping history won’t repeat itself. The good news about all of this is that none of the bullshit you are coming up with, your “fears” are not real and you do not believe any of it. You are scared because you do not trust yourself and you are scared of yourself.
 Anxiety attacks what is most important to you in your life. I remember reading this woman’s blog a few years ago and her story was similar but just different fears. She was molested at a very young age so when she became an adult and had her own daughter, she had anxiety that she was going to molest her own daughter or do things she didn’t want to do. She made her husband change her daughters diaper because she was in fear she would do something harmful to her baby even though she didn’t want to and the thought made her sick and fearful. Back to my point to fear of history repeating itself.
  You are so focused on the past, you are unconsciously or consciously thinking of things you fear will happen, that you don’t want. This will all take time to heal, but you need to start  trusting yourself. You know damn fucking straight you don’t want to kill anybody! You totally know this, so trust yourself and make the CHOICE within yourself to say , “Nope, definitely don’t want to do that so I will let that fleeting thought fuck off now!” These thoughts are not real! These thoughts are your fears! These thoughts want you to believe them because if you are thinking them, then they must be real right? BULLSHIT! That is what anxiety does, gives you bad thoughts you do not believe to see if you are that weak enough to believe them and cling on. Practice letting go and starting a trusting fearless relationship with yourself. You need to start loving yourself and respecting yourself. It will take time, but you already starting by being aware and showing concern. You will get over it, think of this as just a phase. Be more in the moment and focus on what you are doing, if bad thoughts arise give yourself a pep talk for at least 5 minutes. Pep talk in a with understanding and love. DO NOT try to force yourself to stop thinking(will make worse), get mad at yourself, be harsh, be scared, or think you are going crazy. RELAX and take a deep breath and just have a nice chat with yourself and try to make a joke out of it, try to laugh from it. Because you are not a serial killer, and if you were you wouldn’t be on Yahoo talking about it, you would be killing people right now. That’s laughable, come on. Oh! And if your a lesbian, good for you! Don’t be scared that you’re a lesbian! If you like women, you would be happy to be with a woman. But, from seeing how you explained the fear of it- you most likely aren’t because its something you fear and don’t want to happen.
Hope I could help and just remember there are many many people that are going or went through your situation. It is common enough to make you feel some security that you are not crazy and a lot of people do this to themselves…

Books that make you feel soooooooo gooooood…

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  Ok, all of these books will cure your anxiety or really whatever obsession problem you have. I will start with the first book called, ” The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook”. This is the bible, I got it used from Amazon for $6. It is filled with comforting facts and worksheets you do every day, if you do the work this book says and stick with it, you will be free. I have been working with this book for like 5 months and my problem is I have a problem sticking with it just because I am lazy and easily distracted like all the time. The second book and the rest that follow are all written by, Pema Chodrin. She is an angel baby and if I met her I would kiss her and ask her if she could be my mom for a week. She writes beautifully and also tells it like it is, which I love because it really challenges you and makes you think outside of your lil ego box in your tiny head. She’s the shit, she knows what shes doin.

   I wonder if you guys have this issue that I have. My anxiety is the WORST in the morning, does anyone else get that? I wake up and alllll these bad anxiety fearful thoughts come out to play and then my stomach drops and I feel like I am dreaming. I have had that ever sense I was like 10 though, so it might be just an old routine my mind likes. But, I calmed myself down by telling myself this, ” Alex, trust yourself more and know you don’t believe these unwanted thoughts, pay attention to how its making you feel. Do these thoughts support health and happiness? No right? Then trust yourself enough to focus on the moment and what you are doing this very minute. Trust that things will be ok.” It fucking worked too, felt good, it was like I was flicking off anxiety. What is interesting is when you have anxiety or whatever negative thought you can’t let go of, if you tell yourself that you love yourself over and over and do something cheesy like hug yourself or hold your own hand(I do handholding) you feel really peaceful and calm. And Anxiety 101 is this- THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ANXIOUS MIND IN A CALM BODY. I only speak the true true( Cloud atlas ). Try it out duuuuude, works. And, read the books I recommened please.

Stop being a pussy.

fat-cat

The number one rule when you are a person struggling with anxiety is to not be so afraid of yourself. When you are involved in a stressful situation that creates anxiety and/or OCD and /or obsessive negative thoughts, you have to remember to not be so scared of yourself. We built this cycle or this relationship with our anxiety, we support it and we cling to it. Brings us  control, in a strange way makes us feel secure. Any cycle or obsession we create in our minds that we continue supporting we eventually become somewhat clingy and get a very unhealthy sense of security from it, even though we hate doing it. Its similar to a drug addict who hates that he puts a needle in his foot and wants to stop, but can’t because they have a relationship that they can’t let go of. Letting go is the hardest part, I know it is for me. I act like the past is my blue print for the future, I need to let it go and I am trying. You also need to know that this relationship you have with anxiety is not real. The stories you write in your mind that you obsess might happen, should or will…is not real. You have to ask yourselves when you are have anxiety about something and you feel like its out of control you simply say, “What is the evidence for this?” That saying alone creates a separation and challenges your anxiety to the point of …silence. Your anxiety can’t say SHIT back, no comeback. So, if you have anxiety about relationships like me and you get insecure about something your partner did  and you get anxiety, repeat that saying to yourself. The fear you think might happen or you “know” will happen will disappear, because guess what? There is NO FUCKING EVIDENCE! Nada.

Another good tool to kick anxiety in its nuts is being completely in the moment. This is hard, real fucking hard. Best way is to meditate 15 mins a day, seriously. Meditation is not only calming(sometimes), it teaches you how to notice your thoughts as  thoughts floating in your lil head. When you are in your head all the time thinking of bullshit that is not happening at that moment you are totally torturing yourself and its wasting time. You have to step out of your thoughts even at their strongest with a very non judgmental and loving attitude. You gotta be like, ” Yo self, these thoughts are not happening right now. I am going to choose to be in the moment right now and let things be.” You can obviously make up your own shit, but something like that will work for sure. The more you come from love the better you will feel. The more closed off and scared you are the more you will suffer and that my internet friend is a god damn promise. PLEASE don’t be such a pussy, life is way worse in your head than what is actually happening man, think about it. It is really not the way you make it out to be in your head. So this advice is to you and to me… Let us stop being pussies k? Cool.

#1

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My name is Alexandra and I suffer from anxiety and OCD. I have had this problem ever since I could remember, I will be 24 years old this year. I don’t really know what I am doing on here, I thought this would be a good idea for myself and others with the same problem. I know that when I read blogs or stories from other people with symptoms like mine, I feel so damn good because I know that I am not alone. I guess the reason why I started this blog is to bash Anxiety and OCD and try to make it funny. Often the thoughts I receive feel like they aren’t my thoughts and they are completely ridiculous, so why not take a moment out of our fearful tick invasive minds and laugh at it for once, create some separation from this relationship we unfortunately created and supported all this time. Like, at your worst moment(I assume whoever is reading this besides my boyfriend and friends, you have anxiety and/or OCD) when you are sitting wherever you are and absolutely nothing around you is hurting you in any way, shape, or form, you are safe and sound, you should be happy, you should be in that moment where you are right? But, you are dying inside, you feel your world is crashing, your stomach is in flutters, your palms sweaty, your mouth dry, and your thoughts are out of control! And I mean out of control, I’m talking about crazy ass thoughts the ones you know are not the truth but each day you believe them, each day they get stronger, each day they become apart of you and then you are fucked. Now isn’t that funny? Do we ever ask as ourselves in the midst of this madness… Why the fuck am I doing this?

Now, I am not a therapist, or counselor, I am not licensed in any way. If I was a professional I think I wouldn’t be writing on my computer 10 minutes before I have to work in hope that preaching the advice I don’t not take from myself,  will work for someone out there. And being hopeful in this blogging journey I could see some light at the end of the tunnel too. We need to support each other and look at the bigger picture here, theres more to life than repeating negative thoughts and panic attacks. We deserve freedom and a chance to live our lives right? So let’s stop for a minute and look at what we are doing to ourselves, we are denying our right to happiness! Let’s stop being the victim and say, “FUCK YOU ANXIETY.”