I don’t believe this is the WHOLE truth! But, theres A LOT of truth involved…
I am NOT saying put the blame on your parents if you have anxiety/OCD/depression, but think about how you were raised and maybe pay attention to some details you might have missed when you were 6. We are born with no judgement of the world around us, no fear, no worry, we just are. The world we grow up in and the views and judgments we soak in from others constantly around us begin to get in our blood and stay.
For example, my childhood. My mother was obsessed with her looks and the thought of men cheating on her. She always thought whoever she was dating at the time was cheating on her or her looks weren’t good enough so he will cheat on her and basically women are fucked when they go into a relationship with a man because with certainty HE WILL ALWAYS CHEAT. She raised me like that. Not like she would constantly preach about it, but she was so dramatic in every relationship its almost like she wanted me and my siblings to hear, like she was on stage. So, with that being said one of my biggest fears in life is to have my love cheat on me or me cheat on him. I am not obsessed with my looks like my mother , however I can be incredibly insecure about my image. I think a lot of women are very insecure for the most part anyway. It was interesting though, because certain things I saw my mom do and say, I caught myself doing and saying. Even though I didn’t fully believe any of the shit my mind was throwing at me, I felt that I was right because thats how I was raised. I am totally wrong and so was my mom. I had to detach myself from the past of my up bringing and in a way start fresh and be my own parent. Although I am an extreme case, my childhood was kind of rough, I think everyone can relate to this.
We should be more aware of ourselves and create our own options to choose from and not take from other peoples teachings that were unhealthy, just because thats what we were told when we were young. Because we were taught something, doesn’t make it right. People get confused, our parents get confused.
So my point is that we create these thinking patterns these NEGATIVE thinking patterns at a very young age, conscious or unconscious of it. We started it. Whether its a tick we started to calm us down, a thought pattern we go back to even if we hate it, or a insecurtiy pattern we tell ourselves like its the truth. How sad is that? Haha, so sad we do that. That is so exhausting. Sometimes I don’t know why I am so tired and then I think of all the thinking and back and forth talks I do with my self on a bad day and i’m like, “Oh, that’s why I am so freakin tired.” Takes more energy to be negative than it does to be positive. Anyway I posted some words this guy posted, I found it helpful…
When a negative thought enters your mind carry out this exercise:
- Block the negative thought immediately by saying firmly – out loud or in your head – one of the following – “stop!”; “No!”; “Leave!”. Or choose a word of your own. Remember, don’t get angry, that’s negative. Remain calm but be firm.
- You can also block the negative thought by using a symbol instead of a word or you can use both. For example, when I want to block a negative thought I visualise a large, red, ‘X’ sign being stamped on the thought to stop it. I know some people who use symbols such as a door shutting, or pulling a curtain across to block the thoughts. Again, this is personal to you so don’t be afraid to use your own symbol – it may seem a bit silly at first, but if it works, who cares?
- Be aware of any tension in your body. If you are tense then take a deep breath and relax. Don’t worry if negative thoughts keep coming back, this is normal and getting rid of them takes practice.
- When you have used your word/symbol then imagine the negative thought slowly diminish in size – you can visualise the thought as a huge black cloud shrinking in size – see the thought continue to diminish until it is a pin prick then it fades to nothing.
- Whatever the negative thought was, replace it with the positive opposite. For example, if your negative thought was one of failing, then now visualise you winning. Try and put as much energy as you can into the picture, try and feel what the sensation of winning feels like. Hold this for as long as you can.
- Don’t be concerned if you can only manage this for a brief second or if the picture is not very clear. This will come in time with practice. It doesn’t matter whether you hold the picture for a second or ten you will still be training your mind to change from negative to positive.
- A method that many people have found useful is the use of a ‘thought diary/journal’. Writing down you negative thoughts brings them into perspective. Putting their positive opposite across from them focuses your mind on what you want to achieve.
Important Point – don’t ever tell yourself off – always talk to yourself in a positive manner whether things have went to plan or not.