Los Angeles! We are having our Safe Space meet up group Sunday, August 13th @ 9:30AM!
Check out the meet ups group page CLICK: Safe Space Meet Up
Los Angeles! We are having our Safe Space meet up group Sunday, August 13th @ 9:30AM!
Check out the meet ups group page CLICK: Safe Space Meet Up
Whether you are reading this because you have anxiety or OCD this exercise I am about to share will work for both. Just let me get one thing straight- OCD really is anxiety(anxiety is the mother and OCD and is the crying baby) just in a more creative, obsessive, obnoxious kind of way! Remember, you are not alone, you are not crazy, everything is just FINE and for all you OCD lovers out there… THAT THOUGHT WILL NOT HAPPEN!!!
Dinner Date Exercise:
Welcome to phase 1. OK now what I want you to do is breathe, and don’t just breathe…BREATHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Focus focus focus on your breathe, it goes in and out- AH!FLASH NEGATIVE THOUGHT- it’s OK let it be there, do not judge it just look at it and breaaaatthhheeeeee- FLASH WORRY THOUGHT– same thing, let it be there, do not judge it and just look at it. Keep breathing until you feel calm and chill. Once you get to that point I want you to imagine what you think your anxiety or OCD might look like, whatever your mind makes up is perfect. For example; My OCD looks like an insane woman with a mismatched outfit, knotted hair, and speaks like the crazy cat woman from the Simpsons. Now to start you don’t have to see a character you can also find a color or just a feeling, it should soon evolve into something that you can talk to. Patience.
Great! Now we are in phase 2, are you ready? Now that you can see what your anxiety or OCD looks like, its time to say a simple “Hello”. Be prepared for your character to freak out, let it have it’s spotlight for a moment and let it talk, cry, or whatever it needs to do. Do not shut it out just be there as it talks to you. If you have the opposite happen(your character isn’t’ talking) you must let it be in its normal state. OK Good job:)
Phase 3 now you must ask your character out to dinner, yes that’s right a dinner date…Do it! You can just simple say, “Hey would like to join me for dinner right now?” Your character will say yes because they want to run the show,and that’s totally normal. Now in your mind go to a table or if you’d like sit at a physical table in the real life. Sit across from each other so you can face your “date”. Now ask it the question you have been wanting to know, it can be ” Why are you here”, “What do you need from me”, or “What’s up with you?”. REMEMBER to not ask “Victim” questions, don’t feel bad for yourself and ask it questions like, ” Why won’t you go away?”, or “What the fuck do you want from me?”. Shit like that will only make it stronger and have more power over you, just ask questions that aren’t from anger.Just having a simple conversation with that part of you.
Phase 4. This is the part where your character answers your question. Please be prepared for …anything. Your date will cry, shut down, yell, throw the wine glass at you, or it could just give you a simple answer. Whatever it does its important for you to let it just taaaaalllkkk and just sit there without judgement and just watch. Please feel free to engage in conversation if the situation feels right. This is the most important part of the exercise. By inviting a feared part of you to have a conversation with your higher self, you automatically have more power. The more you acknowledge that its there without giving into it, you will understand how irrational these thoughts truly are and more able to let them go when you are both ready.
Phase 5 whenever you want you can leave the dinner and come back to your breathe. In and out just focus on your breath for some time. Now open your eyes slowly and look around the room, or wherever you are, what do you see? Take a few moments to come back into the current moment of reality outside of your mind. Allow your mind to rest for a moment, this exercise at first can be draining.
Good job!! You did it, pat your self on the back! This exercise takes time, patience, and a shit ton of courage! Please do not be hard on yourself if you don’t feel good afterwards, you are not really supposed to feel good after any kind of meditation, just awareness. This exercise is best for those moments or days when your anxiety or OCD are really giving you all they got. They are crying out for your attention for a reason, they want you to acknowledge something inside you.
I hope this helped you, I know it’s helped me a lot in the past. Please feel free to comment on this exercise or share another tool that works for you.
I know it has been a while, but I am back! I wanted to share this beautiful and inspirational
article, Sheryl Paul wrote for all of us in this battle with anxiety. This brought tears to my eyes
and made me feel so damn good.
This struggle with anxiety/obsessive thoughts/OCD/ Depression is definitely an
unforgettable journey. But if you choose to go on this journey, on the path of
love then, fear will soon disappear. You will find yourself FREE. Just remember NOT
to give up and always remember that its worth it. This fight and these “set backs” are worth
it. Because once fear gives up or you no longer choose to be a victim to it, everything
is clear for you, everything is sacred.
Please read the article below its very powerful. I love her message. Don’t give
up. I’m not , so you can’t either.
I don’t believe this is the WHOLE truth! But, theres A LOT of truth involved…
I am NOT saying put the blame on your parents if you have anxiety/OCD/depression, but think about how you were raised and maybe pay attention to some details you might have missed when you were 6. We are born with no judgement of the world around us, no fear, no worry, we just are. The world we grow up in and the views and judgments we soak in from others constantly around us begin to get in our blood and stay.
For example, my childhood. My mother was obsessed with her looks and the thought of men cheating on her. She always thought whoever she was dating at the time was cheating on her or her looks weren’t good enough so he will cheat on her and basically women are fucked when they go into a relationship with a man because with certainty HE WILL ALWAYS CHEAT. She raised me like that. Not like she would constantly preach about it, but she was so dramatic in every relationship its almost like she wanted me and my siblings to hear, like she was on stage. So, with that being said one of my biggest fears in life is to have my love cheat on me or me cheat on him. I am not obsessed with my looks like my mother , however I can be incredibly insecure about my image. I think a lot of women are very insecure for the most part anyway. It was interesting though, because certain things I saw my mom do and say, I caught myself doing and saying. Even though I didn’t fully believe any of the shit my mind was throwing at me, I felt that I was right because thats how I was raised. I am totally wrong and so was my mom. I had to detach myself from the past of my up bringing and in a way start fresh and be my own parent. Although I am an extreme case, my childhood was kind of rough, I think everyone can relate to this.
We should be more aware of ourselves and create our own options to choose from and not take from other peoples teachings that were unhealthy, just because thats what we were told when we were young. Because we were taught something, doesn’t make it right. People get confused, our parents get confused.
So my point is that we create these thinking patterns these NEGATIVE thinking patterns at a very young age, conscious or unconscious of it. We started it. Whether its a tick we started to calm us down, a thought pattern we go back to even if we hate it, or a insecurtiy pattern we tell ourselves like its the truth. How sad is that? Haha, so sad we do that. That is so exhausting. Sometimes I don’t know why I am so tired and then I think of all the thinking and back and forth talks I do with my self on a bad day and i’m like, “Oh, that’s why I am so freakin tired.” Takes more energy to be negative than it does to be positive. Anyway I posted some words this guy posted, I found it helpful…
When a negative thought enters your mind carry out this exercise:
Important Point – don’t ever tell yourself off – always talk to yourself in a positive manner whether things have went to plan or not.
Ok, all of these books will cure your anxiety or really whatever obsession problem you have. I will start with the first book called, ” The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook”. This is the bible, I got it used from Amazon for $6. It is filled with comforting facts and worksheets you do every day, if you do the work this book says and stick with it, you will be free. I have been working with this book for like 5 months and my problem is I have a problem sticking with it just because I am lazy and easily distracted like all the time. The second book and the rest that follow are all written by, Pema Chodrin. She is an angel baby and if I met her I would kiss her and ask her if she could be my mom for a week. She writes beautifully and also tells it like it is, which I love because it really challenges you and makes you think outside of your lil ego box in your tiny head. She’s the shit, she knows what shes doin.
I wonder if you guys have this issue that I have. My anxiety is the WORST in the morning, does anyone else get that? I wake up and alllll these bad anxiety fearful thoughts come out to play and then my stomach drops and I feel like I am dreaming. I have had that ever sense I was like 10 though, so it might be just an old routine my mind likes. But, I calmed myself down by telling myself this, ” Alex, trust yourself more and know you don’t believe these unwanted thoughts, pay attention to how its making you feel. Do these thoughts support health and happiness? No right? Then trust yourself enough to focus on the moment and what you are doing this very minute. Trust that things will be ok.” It fucking worked too, felt good, it was like I was flicking off anxiety. What is interesting is when you have anxiety or whatever negative thought you can’t let go of, if you tell yourself that you love yourself over and over and do something cheesy like hug yourself or hold your own hand(I do handholding) you feel really peaceful and calm. And Anxiety 101 is this- THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ANXIOUS MIND IN A CALM BODY. I only speak the true true( Cloud atlas ). Try it out duuuuude, works. And, read the books I recommened please.
The number one rule when you are a person struggling with anxiety is to not be so afraid of yourself. When you are involved in a stressful situation that creates anxiety and/or OCD and /or obsessive negative thoughts, you have to remember to not be so scared of yourself. We built this cycle or this relationship with our anxiety, we support it and we cling to it. Brings us control, in a strange way makes us feel secure. Any cycle or obsession we create in our minds that we continue supporting we eventually become somewhat clingy and get a very unhealthy sense of security from it, even though we hate doing it. Its similar to a drug addict who hates that he puts a needle in his foot and wants to stop, but can’t because they have a relationship that they can’t let go of. Letting go is the hardest part, I know it is for me. I act like the past is my blue print for the future, I need to let it go and I am trying. You also need to know that this relationship you have with anxiety is not real. The stories you write in your mind that you obsess might happen, should or will…is not real. You have to ask yourselves when you are have anxiety about something and you feel like its out of control you simply say, “What is the evidence for this?” That saying alone creates a separation and challenges your anxiety to the point of …silence. Your anxiety can’t say SHIT back, no comeback. So, if you have anxiety about relationships like me and you get insecure about something your partner did and you get anxiety, repeat that saying to yourself. The fear you think might happen or you “know” will happen will disappear, because guess what? There is NO FUCKING EVIDENCE! Nada.
Another good tool to kick anxiety in its nuts is being completely in the moment. This is hard, real fucking hard. Best way is to meditate 15 mins a day, seriously. Meditation is not only calming(sometimes), it teaches you how to notice your thoughts as thoughts floating in your lil head. When you are in your head all the time thinking of bullshit that is not happening at that moment you are totally torturing yourself and its wasting time. You have to step out of your thoughts even at their strongest with a very non judgmental and loving attitude. You gotta be like, ” Yo self, these thoughts are not happening right now. I am going to choose to be in the moment right now and let things be.” You can obviously make up your own shit, but something like that will work for sure. The more you come from love the better you will feel. The more closed off and scared you are the more you will suffer and that my internet friend is a god damn promise. PLEASE don’t be such a pussy, life is way worse in your head than what is actually happening man, think about it. It is really not the way you make it out to be in your head. So this advice is to you and to me… Let us stop being pussies k? Cool.
My name is Alexandra and I suffer from anxiety and OCD. I have had this problem ever since I could remember, I will be 24 years old this year. I don’t really know what I am doing on here, I thought this would be a good idea for myself and others with the same problem. I know that when I read blogs or stories from other people with symptoms like mine, I feel so damn good because I know that I am not alone. I guess the reason why I started this blog is to bash Anxiety and OCD and try to make it funny. Often the thoughts I receive feel like they aren’t my thoughts and they are completely ridiculous, so why not take a moment out of our fearful tick invasive minds and laugh at it for once, create some separation from this relationship we unfortunately created and supported all this time. Like, at your worst moment(I assume whoever is reading this besides my boyfriend and friends, you have anxiety and/or OCD) when you are sitting wherever you are and absolutely nothing around you is hurting you in any way, shape, or form, you are safe and sound, you should be happy, you should be in that moment where you are right? But, you are dying inside, you feel your world is crashing, your stomach is in flutters, your palms sweaty, your mouth dry, and your thoughts are out of control! And I mean out of control, I’m talking about crazy ass thoughts the ones you know are not the truth but each day you believe them, each day they get stronger, each day they become apart of you and then you are fucked. Now isn’t that funny? Do we ever ask as ourselves in the midst of this madness… Why the fuck am I doing this?
Now, I am not a therapist, or counselor, I am not licensed in any way. If I was a professional I think I wouldn’t be writing on my computer 10 minutes before I have to work in hope that preaching the advice I don’t not take from myself, will work for someone out there. And being hopeful in this blogging journey I could see some light at the end of the tunnel too. We need to support each other and look at the bigger picture here, theres more to life than repeating negative thoughts and panic attacks. We deserve freedom and a chance to live our lives right? So let’s stop for a minute and look at what we are doing to ourselves, we are denying our right to happiness! Let’s stop being the victim and say, “FUCK YOU ANXIETY.”